Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Unwell

Sigh. This is gonna be one of those emo posts again, isn't it?

Well, here I am again, taking time out from a hectic schedule to blog something. It's been years since I've actually written my thoughts here, I think. I just realized that last night when I tried labeling all of my posts; read the ones at the start, and they're really something. I've forgotten I wrote those things. I guess that's what I'm trying to do now.

Ever since I lost her, I've been drifting along, aimless and alone. That's pretty much emo crap. I've got my job to distract me a bit, but even that's losing it's effect these days. It's been--what?--six months without her already? We do still chat every now and then, but there's this sinking feeling of drifting away farther apart each time we talk. You know when you're desperately trying to save someone, but their blood just keeps running through the fingers you've pressed on their wound in an attempt to staunch the flow of blood, but it's not working, and their dying, and there's nothing else you can do except watch. (Aha! Someone try to say that out loud without pausing for breath!)

It's funny, because, before I met her, I was used to this life. I was used to being alone, doing my own thing, you know: your typical bachelor loser deal. But now, I'm dreading my future, because all I'm seeing is me. Noone else. Stark gray landscape, and just me in it.

Noone else.